•
Use said, whispered, shouted and asked only and
then mainly “said”.
•
You don’t need to tag much if only two people
are speaking.
•
You do need to tag if more than two are
speaking, if it goes on for more than half a page, and for reluctant readers.
•
Try tagging with actions where possible.
Study the following examples
1. Byrony Pearce: Angel’s Fury
She nodded towards
the gun, needing to add nothing more.
“What’s the
matter?”
“Seth gets to
sculpt, Kyle’s a musician, Panda draws and what’s my special talent? The words exploded like water from a dam.
“Putting together murder weapons[G5] .”
The doctor fondled
the rifle[G6] .
“I imagine there’s more to it than that. Your talent will extend a long way
beyond just assembling a gun, so I’d better have a range built on the grounds.
2. Judy Waite: Game Girls
“Oh – right. We
went up to the Love Nest – still with all those Shoe Express bags – and he
wanted me to get out of my skirt and top.
So I did that – and then he opened the first box and produced some red
patent stilettos. He asked me to put them on. It was all very polite, though.
He was a real gentleman.”
“He wanted you to
do it wearing shoes?”
“No, that’s just
it. He didn’t want to “do it”.”
“He paid for you
to sit there wearing his shoes?”
“It was a bit
more than that. I had to walk about in them, while he watched. And then he
opened another box – and another – and another[G9]
Exercise:
All of the tags have been removed from this piece of dialogue
from Sara Grant's Dark Parties. Below
is the actual version from the book. This is not the only "correct
answer" of course.
“Ok.”
“Open with care.”
“Grand reopening.”
“Open and closed.”
“Don’t we need to make sure people understand
we’re talking about the Protectosphere?”
“Yeah, right. I
think it’s about done.”
“But we don’t know
what we’re going to write!”
“We better figure
it out. Once this stuff sets, we can’t use it.”
“No Protect Us
Fear.”
Here is Sara's version. Why do you
think she's tagged it the way she has?
I almost believe it’s possible. “Ok,”
I say. Think slogan.
“Open with care.”
“Grand reopening.”
“Open and closed.”
I’m not sure that
makes sense. “Don’t we need to make sure people understand we’re talking about
the Protectosphere?” I ask.
“Yeah, right.” She
mashes and bangs a little more. She dips her finger in the bucket. Her hand is
red and looks like it’s dripping congealed blood. Congealed blood with bits in
it. She rubs the red between her fingers. “I think it’s about done.”
“But we don’t know
what we’re going to write!” I smooth a curl behind my ear and think of my
grandma.
“We better figure
it out. Once this stuff sets, we can’t use it.” She drops the bat in the tub. A
spray splatters the yellowing tiles. She grunts as she hefts the bucket out of
the tub. She closes the shower curtain and turns on the water.
“No Protect Us
Fear,” I say as the slogan pops up in our head.
Try tagging your own dialogue using these
methods.
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[G1]An action
is used as a tag.
[G2]An action
is used as a tag here.
[G3]No tag
is needed here as only two people are speaking.
[G4]A little
bit of interior monologue breaks up the text a little.
[G5]These
two exchanges aren't tagged as it's clear who is speaking.
[G6]An action
is used as a tag.
[G7]An action
is used as a tag.
[G8]An action
is used as a tag.
[G9]No tags
are used in the rest as only two people are talking.
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